How to coordinate with your kids

Disagreement and fights among siblings are a common thing and also healthy in most cases. However, it can become a problem if one sibling tries to dominate the other. In the extreme case, the issue can be more complicated when the siblings don’t find any common ground for play and mutual respect. It is advisable for parents to address the issue at a very early age to minimize the damage latter. More often it starts by one sibling believing that the other is getting more attention and “love” from the parents and tries to fight for his rightful place.

Siblings, rivalries are painful for parents and though it is supposed to be a normal routine of early life, it needs to be well coordinated. It is the responsibility of a parent to manage the feelings of the kids and no one is supposed to believe that he/she is less loved than the brother/sister. There are definite strategies to deal with the issues.

Understanding the bully

In most cases, it is the elder sibling that is most affected by a new baby. The attention he/she has been getting all the while gets divided and the child may develop antagonizing methods to get back at the other. If the bully gets to the extreme of physical harm, there is certainly a lot of self doubt and underlying issues in the thought process. In this case, he is just trying to justify his sacrifices by troubling/injuring/bullying the other sibling.

Ways to manage sibling rivalry

Intervention in sibling rivalry needs to be frank. Make it clear that even when a kid is angry, all thru les apply to him and he could be facing the consequences. Here’s how mothers need to handle the situation in case of a fight:

1. Holding both kids responsible: Even if the fight has been started by one of the sibling, it is necessary to ensure that both feel equally responsible for the consequences. As long as you are sure how the fight started it is good to set rules in the house in case of a fight. The consequences could be like going to bed early, not having a chocolate for a week and things like this depending on their age and demands.
2. Bickering table: If siblings are constantly getting into petty back and forth fights, a “bickering table” would be the best way to control the situation. This involves scheduling a time when both kids are supposed to sit down and bicker. This the time when they are supposed to be in their chairs and argue all they can. It has been proved that after a while they would find themselves silly and give up.
3. Cut down jealousy: If you have to appreciate one kid for his performance at school, you can always tell the other kid that he is good with his ball. This will help curb any jealousy that could erupt from your actions.

Sibling rivalry, if left uncontrolled can lead to dangerous consequences, including severe physical injuries and in the worst case a disagreement for the whole lifetime.

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